With Disability in the Family, is Posting Possible?
One Family's Story
by Donna Thompson-Wright
Preparing to go on post with a family is no easy task, but travelling with the extra complications of a special needs family member can make the process seem doubly daunting. My son, Nicholas (now 14 years) was only three when we took a posting to London. At that time my newborn daughter Natalie seemed so easy to care for compared to her brother who is severely disabled with cerebral palsy and was often very ill. But London beckoned and I was young and fearless. When the posting seemed assured, I began researching opportunities abroad for Nick in earnest. Over the telephone from Ottawa, I chose a therapeutic school for him and identified a range of medical specialists. Well before the inventory and pack-up, Nick was registered at school and appointments were scheduled with all the professionals concerned. The floor plan of our accommodation was carefully studied to ensure wheelchair mobility preparedness. I thought I had all bases covered and was ready for anything.
Two hours after arriving at our flat in London, I realized that Nicholas needed emergency medical attention and probably an admission. I called the offices of the doctors with whom I had scheduled appointments and was told that Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital does not have an emergency department - that I would have to bring him to my local hospital. No one I spoke to knew which hospital was the correct one. In desperation, I hailed a cab on the street and asked the taxi driver to help. He brought us to our local "casualty" and Nick was quickly admitted.
This was the first of many humbling lessons about the fallibility of best-laid plans. It was all well and good to have made arrangements for school and specialist supports, but I will certainly never travel again without knowing emergency procedures. Did this and other equally challenging experiences abroad with my children hinder my nomadic spirit in the foreign service? Not a bit of it! I still yearn for the smell of airports and the excitement of reading post reports. Have family, will travel!
Some basic do's and don'ts (before you leave home)
DO start with the accommodation if your family member uses a wheelchair. If you can't get in the door when you arrive, you are likely to want to book an immediate flight home.
DO try to identify a school or day program that will accept your child and will endeavor to meet his/her needs. A commitment to try and a welcoming spirit is what you are looking for here.
DO try to identify special services your family member requires in your community abroad. Ask the community coordinator if she/he can match you with another local family with similar needs who can walk you through the system.
DO investigate any costs you may incur as a result of special needs. Document all services and/or financial aid provided by the provincial and municipal governments as well as charities in Canada, then ensure that foreign governments or DFAIT will provide the equivalent.
DO research opportunities on the Internet that may be available abroad, but not in the Ottawa region. Use the department telephones to call contacts in your future community to get a better sense of opportunities and challenges.
DO make sure there is a reciprocal health and social service agreement between Canada and the host government, especially if you are a regular consumer of those services, or that services you need can be purchased within the local economy.
DO try to identify at least one recreational activity for all your children before you leave home. Activities that might lead to neighbourhood friendships are best.
DO make sure that the airlines are aware of your needs while travelling. ASK what special accommodations they can offer to make your journey easier. If you are travelling with a wheelchair, ask the airline representative to think through each aspect of the trip with you from the departure airport counter queue to the destination arrivals area in order to maximize their awareness and creative problem solving capacity.
DO use your public library at post as a source of information. Librarians know everything about their community.
DON'T assume that you will create a carbon-copy of Canadian services while you are abroad. Some things will be easier, some more difficult.
DON'T assume that people will offer information. In many cultures, you have to ask exactly the right question in order to get the answer you need.
DON'T be afraid to ask for help whenever you need it.
DON'T compare the international differences in health care, education or social service delivery. It's not worth it.
DON'T waste time trying to push your child into a facility that is not welcoming. Keep trying, and you will eventually find the right placement and the right people.
DON'T assume that architectural barriers can't be overcome, especially in Europe. Where there's a will, there's a way and Europeans know it! (This applies to schools, not your own home.)
DON'T assume that any electrical equipment you may require for daily living support of your child will be compatible in the host country - if it has been lent or leased by the Ministry of Health here, they may not even allow you to take it out of province.
Above all, once you have the general impression that your family will be safe and secure on post, DO look forward to the adventure and opportunities that come along with change. YOUR positive attitude will be contagious not only to your children, but to those you will come to depend upon in your new home.