Boarding School Experiences and Information
Another Option for CIDA Co-operants
Prepared by Nancy S. Fraser
© Canadian International Development Agency 1987
Preamble
1. Introduction
2. Why A Boarding School?
3. What the School Looks For; What Parents Should Seek
4. What Boarding Schools Can Offer
5. What Do School Brochures Tell You; What Does the Family Need to know
6. The Student and FamilyDISCLAIMERPermission was received from CIDA to post this article in 2006. CIDA is not responsible for any errors or inaccuracies in this document which was originally researched and published in 1987 and has not subsequently been updated.
Preamble: May, 2000
This article was written under contract for the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA) in 1987 when it became apparent that choosing a boarding school was more complicated than any parent thought it could possibly be before they embarked on the process. The article is published here with the permission of CIDA. It has also been distributed by educational consultants who specialize in matching students with the independent schools that are appropriate to meet their needs.
Some things have changed in the intervening years, such as the greater range of methods of communication available to almost all of us. By all means, use them all, including e-mail and improved long-distance telephone rates to maintain constant communication between kids, their parents and the school. Give serious thought to the support system you can put into place for your children while they're apart from you. As part of that system, Canadian foreign service parents are encouraged to arrange to meet with the Employee Assistance Program counsellors at DFAIT with your child so he or she can all put faces to names in case they feel the need to contact the EAP at any time.
However, discussing how the family will communicate when the young person is apart from them is putting the cart before the horse. Choosing the right school comes ‘way before that, and getting a good fit, a match between the child and the institution is essential; it deserves a great deal of your family's attention and discussion.
The FSCA hopes this paper will help you to focus on the issues to be examined in considering a boarding school for your child when you are on posting. For some, this is a positive experience that fosters growth in the child and confidence in the family. Take a fresh look at the school videos and brochures after you've read what this article has to offer.
With all our best wishes for you and your family,
Nancy Fraser
© Canadian International Development Agency 1987
Introduction
The purpose of this paper is to allow parents who may not have considered residential or boarding schools for their children to examine them as a valuable means of meeting their needs. This has particular importance for families who are considering an assignment overseas where educational facilities may not exist or where they offer less than optimum academic standards or environment.
The concern addressed here is one of placing an adolescent in an environment tha t will meet his academic, social and emotional requirements. Choosing a school to provide these services is a difficult task at any time. Doing so when also planning an overseas assignment, knowing the family won't be available to help the child if mistakes have been made is truly awesome. This article has been prepared to assist families in identifying the needs of their children, and in gaining the information they need to select an appropriate school. It is important that the child be involved in this process and be encouraged to view it as an opportunity for change and challenge. It is also recognized that ambivalent feelings will surface and have to be acknowledged.
For the purpose of clarity, the terms 'he', 'she', 'child' and student have been used interchangeably.
Residential schools are varied and individual, some recently established and many with a longer history. Each school will produce an informational brochure, and while few currently state that they 'care for the whole child', some may imply that they are right for almost all children. Some specialize in the needs of particular children. Each school has its strengths and weaknesses, and of course each will do its utmost to highlight what it considers to be its most positive elements. This paper will point out methods of interpreting those brochures, both the information that is included and left out. Questions will be suggested to elicit important facts that may not be clearly available in printed material on the school.
Informational brochures on residential schools are certain to include material on curriculum and educational philosophy. Parents will have to assess this information in terms of the academic needs of the child and her future plans. Since it is assumed to be of prime importance to both the school and families, questions relating to this subject are not included in the list of unanswered questions that are included in this article.
It is interesting that empirical research on residential schools and their students is largely lacking, though experienced staff, parents and students have freely shared information to assist in the preparation of this article. They have been particularly helpful in providing information on the adaptation process that takes place in students, and in describing what a school hopes to achieve in a pre-registration interview.
Why A Boarding School?
There are many reasons for parents and children to choose residential schools and while some reasons are traditional, some are a reaction to changes in current values in society.
Independent schools have often been criticized as elitist, class-conscious in a nominally class-less society, where those who could afford to pay the fees sent their children to meet others of the same class and values and to make contacts to serve them for the rest of their lives. The schools respond by emphasizing scholarship programs that are based on the need of the family for financial aid and on a rigorous set of scholarship exams. This emphasis is intended to leaven the mixture of students and spread the effects of an independent school education throughout the society. Schools also point to the fact that many parents are so committed to independent schools that they will make considerable sacrifices to allow their children to attend.
During a period of rapid change in education, some parents are concerned at the values and ethics to which their children are being exposed. By choosing an independent school, they may be able to select more directly the qualities they prefer for their children's environment. Discipline and academic achievement are often emphasized in independent schools and combined with athletic and artistic endeavours to fulfill a more traditional curriculum. A residential school will also focus on the need for inter-dependence and social skills to allow faculty and students to live together in harmony, acknowledging the needs of ethers in a more or less protected setting.
Residential schools have often been the academic choice for families who are mobile, either because adequate education doesn't exist in their present location, or because educational and psychological continuity that increases in importance as children mature may be compromised if the family re-locates. For some of these young people, the school becomes their most stable physical environment, since if the family moves, the central element of 'home' has changed. Visiting the family in the new environment is important, but some allegiance will have been transferred if adaptation to the school has taken place.
Some of the students at any school will be there because of problems, either within their families, with society or in academic subjects. Each school will deal with these issues in its individual way; some schools specialize in helping children with their difficulties, and some rely on a tightly structured environment and low teacher-student ratio to keep problems under control. In examining a school it is essential to be open in discussing your reasons for looking for a new educational environment, since the right school for the child must rely on a 'good fit' to be successful.
What the School Looks For: What Parents Should Seek
Each school will look for a particular combination of traits in prospective students to fit its needs and strengths. Each school is also aware of its responsibilities for each child, so it is in the school's best interest to choose students whose needs it can meet effectively and without compromising standards. The school administration has a clear view of the profile it seeks in new entries.
Taking this into account, it is the parents of each child who know her best. They should, before applying to any school, evaluate her strengths and weaknesses. The child who is independent, outgoing and secure within the family, and has well-defined social values, will probably adapt well. If that student is also academically strong, has good work habits, and is committed to academic and athletic achievement, success in an independent school is probably almost certain. However, even students without all these virtues can do well at a residential school if the school is chosen with care and the child has adequate support within the school and from those outside. That support may come from a closely-unit school community, house-parents who are empathetic and take their responsibilities for each child's well-being seriously, and adults outside the school who will also support the child or adolescent. However, the child who regards attending boarding school as a form of punishment or a symbol of rejection from the family may find many methods to express anger and resentment to his parents and the institution they have chosen for him. If the child is enthusiastic about the opportunities offered by a residential school and regards it as a new and challenging experience and is committed to doing well, chances are better that she will, particularly if she sees the regulations of the school as having a socially useful role rather than as barriers to be avoided or knocked over. Students who deliberately and repeatedly break rules are giving signals that no school will ignore for long, nor should it, in the interest of the entire school population.
If a family has decided to consider taking the steps necessary to enroll a child in a residential school, they should examine the school in person. It is important that the prospective student take part in this process, and in fact the registrar or admissions officer will probably insist that she be interviewed. For everyone concerned it is essential that the 'fit' be good on both sides.
If the family has examined all the shiny brochures and weeded out the school, that don't match the student's needs, the number of schools to be examined (and be examined by) should be manageable. It is important that discussion at the interview be as oper and frank as possible since fees once paid are rarely refundable unless insurance for that p urpose has been purchased. Both the family and the school should be equally concerned that the child can meet the school's requirements and adapt well to its environment.
Often more than one member of the staff will take part in this interview process and an academic examination will often be administered. The school's representatives will be interested in whether the child will be able to handle the academic workload, if he is socially acceptable, if he and his parents share the values of the school, if the student is motivated to do well, and if the student will contribute to the school. They will also look for conflict between the child and her parents beyond the normal differences of opinion that take place between individuals.
What Boarding Schools Can Offer
Boarding or residential schools can offer many attributes, and all of them should be considered by families who are considering them as a possibility for their children.
Generally the education offered is of a more individualized nature. Classes are usually smaller. Teachers often live on school property (particularly if the school is situated outside a large city), and have extra-curricular responsibilities. Independent schools often pride themselves on the proportion of their students who go on to post-secondary education, so responsible work habits are ingrained from an early age. These may be instilled by a number of methods, but almost all schools have a prescribed period of study every school day, either in the student's room or in a group study hall. In most schools each student is assigned to a supervisor or tutor with whom he meets once a week or even more frequently. All his teachers report on each student to that tutor on his progress and on any problems or difficulties as they occur. By this method of constant communication academic standards for each child are maintained; each child must face his classroom responsibilities constantly. As students become older supervision is decreased to allow the individual to increase his own academic and personal responsibility.
Depending on where the school is, its philosophy and its balance of day students and boarders, and allowing for differences between schools, boarding schools usually offer more tightly scheduled days to their students. This makes perfect sense when it is considered that the school must move a large and varied population through academic and athletic schedules as well as mealtimes and the general house-keeping tasks necessary.
This leads to discipline in schedule and attitude, attributes that are considered necessary by the school and positive by many parents. There is little opportunity for misunderstanding by the student; in fact a booklet concerning the schedule and school regulations is usually included in the school brochure, and discussion of all its aspects is part of the orientation program offered during the first day or two of each school year. If children clearly understand the rules with which they live, they are aware of limitations. Areas of flexibility are clearly defined, and the individual needs of each student are taken into account. In many cases, a residential school may offer more individual flexibility than a public school which must deal with a much larger student population and a large city school board with more diverse needs.
While a residential school may offer a disciplined environment, it cannot guarani ee a drugfree environment. Street drugs are a fact of life within a population of adolescents, although the incidence of drug use is probably lower in the controlled and supervised environment of a residential school, if only because results are swift and certain. Ask about the drug policy at any school you are considering, as well as the policy of smoking and drinking. They will be well-thought-out and clearly enunciated. Mary schools consulted during the preparation of this article strongly discipline or expell students who are found with drugs.
A well-chosen residential school that 'fits' the child can offer continuity to the child of an internationally mobile family. The other students, faculty, houseparents and administrators become significant members of the child's life; the strong sense of community fostered in the school can offer security and affection to the child who is a part of it.
The child or young person who needs discipline in either social or academic terms will find both in the schedule of most residential schools, and parents may find changes in the child's attitude toward responsibility that they hadn't expected. Since many :-esidential schools in Canada offer only junior and senior high school years, generally for ages eleven to eighteen, the school population are also experiencing the developmentally and emotionally tumultuous years of adolescence through young adult-hood. It can be reassuring for both students and parents to know that a period of such rapid transition is experienced in an environment where the responsible adults are knowledgeable and appreciative of the process and its necessary adjustments. However, some adolescents will find a residential school and its attendant structure to be stifling as they mature.
Some boarding schools consider ninth grade the optimum time to accept new students, though they will register children for the first time at other ages. The reason is that, in general, children transfer allegiance from family to peer group at puberty which occurs about age fourteen or fifteen, so adaptation to a new environment and population fit in with a developmental transition.
To sum up, a boarding school can offer a strong sense of community, structure, discipline, and in many cases a more individualized education. It can also offer a protected environment and a setting where living outside the family confines can be experienced in safety and where excellence in academic, athletic or artistic endeavour is encouraged.
What Do School Brochures Tell You? What Does the Family Need to Know?
Boarding schools produce informational brochures that are helpful in aiding families to choose the best school for each child. Each school will be completely honest in the facts it presents, but each brochure is a form of advertising, expensively produced and presented. For this reason, all the information about the school can't be included. In many cases, the majority of families to which the brochure is directed may not have the same concerns that a mobile family does. For this reason, families who are considering living overseas and leaving a member at a residential school must have questions answered because of the implications for both the child and her family. After registration, it is too late!
Read all brochures carefully to gather as much information as possible. Then, ask the rest of the important questions. There are no right or wrong answers, only answers that may have positive or negative implication for individual children at each developmental stage.
Questions :
A. Location:
Is the school in a city or in the country? The answer to this question has implications beyond whether the student is an urban or rural child; the location will have importance in the scheduling of the student's free time after school and on weekends. Many rural schools have active weekend programs that include, for instance, half day classes three Saturdays a month, chapel, and arts or athletic programs. City schools, because of their proximity to greater cultural choices may provide free time for the entire weekend. If this is so, who is to be responsible for the student? Is the youngster mature enough to handle all that time productively and alone?
B. School Population:
How many day students are there, and how many boarders? If a school has a disproportionately large number of day students, the school may- focus on their needs to the detriment of residential students. If the boarding student has someone who will take responsibility for her outside school hours, this may not be an important issue; however if the opposite is true, boarding students may feel like second-class citizens and be lost in that environment. Some residential schools accept day students on the provision that they spend three or more evenings a week at the school, eating meals there and completing study time with school-mates. At such schools, commitment to the residential focus of the school is clear and well-defined.
C. Focus and Balance:
Is excellence in academic, athletic or artistic ac achievement rewarded? Does the school emphasize one over the others or is a balance struck. as shown by the weekly schedule? Are options offered that include all three elements; is it possible to participate in one interest exclusively? Is participation required in a variety of extracurricular activities? Is competition stressed or is participation equally important? How does this fit in with the experience of the child you are considering? Many students who haven't been interested in extra-curricular activities have discovered that participation as one of a cohesive group can be rewarding and have continued practising those skills after leaving school.
D. Environment:
What are the living conditions like, physically and social ly? Most brochures will contain at least one picture of a dormitory block and perhaps one of a bedroom. Both parents and their offspring will be interested in how living conditions are organized, how many students are in each room and in each house. Is there a mix of ages? Are there house-masters/parents in each building? How much flexibility is there in these arrangements? Many schools are arranged on a house system where loyalty to the house and its group is stressed. By this method, the physical organization influences the social environment. Is there student government within each building or are there representatives of each house in the overall student council? Is there a student council at all?
The organization of living quarters is important for a number of reasons. Many schools have re-organized their dormitories in the past few years because students' needs have changed. Often two to four students are in a junior room with single rooms reserved for seniors. This is not to say that living conditions resemble the wards in a hospital.
Residences have often been designed for great flexibility in physical arrangements with generous space offered in each room for its residents to arrange. It is important for the student to have some idea of the physical set-up she will live in to make an informed decision as to whether she will be able to make the adjustment to group living from that of her home.
- Brenda Abud-Lapierre Coordinator/counselor CCS
- 992-6167 e-mail Brenda.abud-lapierre@international.gc.ca
- Lucie Dumoulin - counselor
- 995-9547 e-mail lucie.dumoulin@international.gc.ca
- Catherine Aubin - counselor
- 992-1641 e-mail catherine.aubin@international.gc.ca
E. Uniforms:
What effect do they have on the balance between uniformity and individuality? Most residential schools have some sort of uniform requirement as a method of instilling loyalty to the school, but vast differences exist in the dress codes between schools. This can be an important issue, particularly for adolescents who use dress as a method of self-expression. Some schools demand that students wear a prescribed uniform at all times on school grounds and have a rigid list of apparel that is acceptable. Others prescribe the school uniform to be worn at specified times such as at dinner, but allow a broad range of dress at other times; some schools have a dress code that provides freedom within its parameters. For example, one boy's school requires a sport jacket, shirt and tie for classes, no jeans at any time except for work details, and only leather shoes for all nonsports activities. Another school requires that the formal school uniform of blazer and grey skirt or trousers be worn for all classes, but has no requirement for specific dress after academic activities are over for the day. There are a number of reasons schools prescribe uniforms, indeed uniforms are being considered by some public schools in North America. One is to eliminate dress as a method of competition among students; another is to foster a sense of cohesion and identification with the school by all its students. It is interesting that many students who were resistant to the very idea of school uniforms find that there is some comfort in being part of an easily identifiable group, and discover that there are other means to express their individuality.
F. Expenses:
What is included in school fees, and what is extra? Even taking into account the school fees that are paid by agencies, there will inevitably be expenses that are ongoing and are the responsibility of the student and his family. Day to day expenses that occur for students who live at home will also occur at school, and if unpleasant surprises are to be avoided, it is important to examine and prepare for them in advance. It .s assumed the student will start the school year with a wardrobe to meet her needs and the school's demands, but just as at home, those clothes may become damaged or out-grown. It might be helpful to budget for that possibility in advance, keeping in mind that the school probably won't wait for a special sale price, but may have an arrangement with a local store to meet clothing needs. That expense will appear on the monthly reckoning. The cost of everyday toiletries are often buried in weekly grocery bills for families living together in North America, but suddenly they are a special expense for students living away. Some schools have a tuck shop that stocks such items; at others it is the responsibility of the student to acquire them independently. And what about haircuts? These expenses will have to be covered by a weekly allowance provided by parents.
Does the school prescribe the weekly or monthly amount at the student's disposal? Do students have access to bank accounts locally or is all their money deposited with the school administration? Perhaps it is possible to ask the school for an average. monthly accounting of added monthly expenses in advance to aid in budgetting. What about laundry charges? Students may be responsible at some schools for doing their own laundry, so Saturday free time may be spent at the local launderette. Other schools, using a different approach, consider that un-washed clothing does nothing to enhance the appearance or aura of either dormitories or students, and provide laundry and dry-cleaning services.
Does the school prescribe a certain amount of pocket money allowed to each student? How is this administered: by the accountant, by the houseparent or directly from the parent to the student? Are there external bank accounts or is all money handled by the school? Do students have cash in their possession in their rooms or is there an alternative if a large amount of cash is given to the student? Is there a limit to the amount a student can n spend at the tuck shop, and is this subtracted from weekly/monthly pocket money or is it addition to the parents' monthly bill? While this may be very much an administrative master, it may impact on whether the family can afford to keep the student in a residential school. Keep in mind that the student has some control over aspects of extra expenses at boarding school, and if this is a family concern it should be discussed with him.
G. Time Management:
How is the day organized; how much of the day is Flanned by the institution, how much for the student to utilize himself? There is a fine balance to be maintained by each school according to the maturity of its population and its environment. In an enclosed community devoted to achievement of academic needs as well as individual satisfactions, free time will be scheduled along with time for athletic and artistic: pursuits. An example of the schedule of a secondary boys' school that focuses on the needs of boarding students is that after-school time is devoted to intra-mural sports three afternoons a week, arts and/or crafts two afternoons a week and an hour or more before dinner with free time. After dinner, supervised prep/homework time is from 7:30-9:00, with lights-out at 10:30. Friday evenings provide for free-time, videos, tv, or get-togethers with the students of another school in the area. Saturday morning there is a chapel service, then sports or a trip into the closest town for shopping or banking purposes, with the rest of the day free. Older students, grades permitting, may schedule their studies themselves, though their participation in intra-mural sports is still strongly encouraged.
H. Co-educational or one sex?
Is the school restricted to one sex or are both sexes represented? Is the school affiliated with another school for the other sex? One-sex schools are usually affiliated with a school for the other sex that is near-by, and try to schedule regular activities with the students there. This may be the reason so many uni-sex boarding students are involved in the annual dramatic presentation - it may be the rare opportunity to get to know girls (or boys)! If the school is co-educational, how is it organized? Some schools have always accepted students of both sexes, but some residential schools have become co-educational relatively recently or are planning to do so in the near future. The reasons may have an impact on parents' decisions about whether the school will be best for their children. Some children who are entering an ;alternative school for the first time may find the transition easier to make if the school closely resembles the public school they are leaving; others may find it easier to compete academically if the element of sex is removed entirely from the immediate environment. The results of one study are that girls benefit academically from an all-female environment.
The schools' decisions to become co-educational are varied; some want to enlarge the pool of excellence from which they may choose. Others have discovered that their graduates have some difficulty out in the 'real world' after graduating since they have little experience in interacting with the other sex on a day-to-day basis.
Almost all boarding schools in Canada now house the sexes in separate buildings though classes are taken together, as are meals. One school that accepted female boarding students starting in the senior grades expected them to react similarly to the male students with whom the school had extensive experience. The first few years of co-education were a period of learning for the teachers and administration as much as for the stud.-nts! The ultimate question on this subject is whether your child will pine without the stimulus of the other sex, or will she flourish in the company of other girls without the competition of boys?
I. Scheduled Weekends or Free-time?
How much freedom can your child deal with constructively? Some city schools that have more of a day-student focus ask only that their boarding students sign out at 10:00 a.m. Saturday morning and back in at 10:00 p.m. In essence the schools are not responsible for the student for twelve hours each day of the weekend. There is nothing inherently wrong in this practise, but parents should know if this is the norm so they may decide whether their child can fill this time productively, or at least as adults would have them use it!
Other schools provide full weekends of activity three weeks out of four, the fourth being designated a free weekend when all students leave the school unless there is a reason not to. If the rest of the family is thousands of miles away this is an important issue to deal with before departure. It is also important to know the school's policy on visiting others on this weekend. Does the school require a list of approved relatives or friends to whose home the student may go on weekends? Will the school check with the family of other students if they say they are going there for a weekend or evening? Does that matter to you? How mature is your young man or woman, and do you think this will become an issue of concern?
J. Religious Affiliation:
Mandatory observance, or other options? Since many residential schools in Canada at least started as religious institutions, the issue of observance and values training is inherent in their make-up now. In fact, a preponderance of new alternative schools are being established as a reaction to current values and ethics in Canadian society and have a religious basis. It is important to ascertain if the school being considered shares the values of your family. Is a specific religion taught in an actual class, and if your child doesn't share that religion, may she be excused? Are the religious principles under which the school operates of an ecumenical nature, or are they specific to a particular faith? Is attendance at Chapel mandatory, and is it more of a gathering of the student body than of a particular religious service? Does this matter to you and your family? Is it important to expose your child to a different set of religious beliefs or would it be better to find a school administered by those of your own faith?
K. Connections:
Is there someone close to the school who has known the student for almost all his life? It is important for the child to have another source of support A addition to her family who are now at a great distance. The new environment in which she now finds herself, no matter how close to perfection it may be, is an enclosed society. For this reason, many families choose a residential school in the vicinity of members of the extended family. This is the bolt-hole to which the student goes on his weekends off some of the time, and his aunts and uncles are the recipients of the phone calls when things are going well, or not so well. Some families leave a power of attorney with these people to deal with any complications that may arise, or may introduce them to the school to be consulted in case of emergency. This is another source of security for both the student and her family, and may give her the opportunity to establish a new relationship with members of her family she had only known well as a small child.
L. Travel Arrangements: Who makes them; how far does the school define its responsibilities?
In terms of travel, how far has real meaning! Some schools delegate a staff member to make travel arrangements for its students; others assume the student's family will be responsible for all tickets and transfers, and only take responsibility for the student when he passes over the threshold. Problems arise if parents and school assume the other to be taking care of these issues, only to discover that neither is, when it is too late to make reservations for Christmas leave. In any case, it is essential to establish from the outset who will deal with travel arrangements, and as the process takes place, to remain informed of the stage to which arrangements have been taken.
Some schools take charge of students at the local airport, bus or ferry terminus. If misunderstandings take place, the student may expect to be met only to be left waiting in the airport, or she may make her way directly to school leaving a van waiting for her elsewhere. Either way, feelings will run high; better to make certain how the schedule will be handled in advance.
And as to passports... is your child likely to lose that important document if it is left in the dorm, or should the houseparent take charge of it until it is needed?
M. Who will be responsible for the child in school?
The school wile of course be in physical charge of the student, but it is important to discover how such things as medical insurance will be handled, particularly if the school is in a province different than the one in which the child was resident before going off to school. Is increased medical insurance necessary? And what about dental insurance; is the student covered under a private or public plan, and will it be recognized if she is living away from her family?
N. What are the qualifications of the teachers and instructors? What is the student:teacher ratio?
Most schools include a list of faculty members and their qualifications in the information packet that is part of the brochure. It is in the best interests of the school to employ the very best people, but in the past independent schools have often been less well endowed than many are now. For this reason, housing has been provided to staff in lieu of high salaries. For some, such an enclosed community may produce feelings of family-like closeness and support; for others, a stifling ghetto. Some schools now under-write additional training for their instructors. It is important to know if this is the case at the school your family is considering, since academic excellence is one of the reasons many parents choose a residential school. Find out what proportion of graduates go on to post-secondary education, and at which institutions.
One of the great advantages of independent schools is their generally low student:teacher ratio. It is also important to discover the sizes of the largest and smallest classes since if the largest class is in a subject in which your child needs particular support he may be less likely to receive it there.
O. How many students are assigned to each housemaster/houseparent rent and do they actually live in the residence?
Some schools have traditionally had one adult assigned to each residence who, assisted by prefects or monitors, has been responsible for thirty or more students. Others are now hiring couples to fulfill these duties, and are lowering the number of students under their control. Houseparents/masters are sometimes experienced counsellors as well. Do you think this will be important to your child?
The Student and Family
A. Preparation
The effect of having a member away at school will be felt by everyone in the fa mily. For this reason it is essential for everyone to think about the family as a unit and to examine in particular the changes that will occur. In fact, this step may hasten the process of family development toward independence of both children and parents; however, it is Dest if this fact comes as an expected change rather than as an unpleasant surprise. Inevitably, the student will have to make more decisions independently than he would have before. These choices may be as minor as to what sort of shampoo to buy for her personal use and as important as to where to go on a long weekend away from school, the methods aid relative expense of travel. It is essential that the student be convinced that his family will support him through these decisions and be there to help him to make those that are difficult to make unsupported. This may be achieved by knowing that there is the possibility of longdistance phone calls or telegrams on a regular basis. The bond between parents and children must become stronger rather than weaker if they are to stretch over international distances, particularly during adolescence when values and priorities are being :'urged and tested. The child's place in the family must be as secure as ever even though separated by physical distance. Methods of communication must be discussed in light of everyone's needs, and plans made to meet them.
Planning for change is imperative if the boarding school experience is to be a pcsitive one. Initially both parents and students should discuss the choices necessary in finding the appropriate school for the child; then the practical realities should be considered as a family unit. All the "what will happen if...?" issues should be examined at this time so that the framework in which this major family change will take place may be examined and planned for. The names of educational consultants are listed at the end of this article if the family is in need of assistance in identifying schools to meet particular needs.
B. Communication
If a child isn't to feel 'sent away' at school, it is essential that communication be maintained. It is important for children to be convinced that their parents are committed to their well-being whether they are attending a school close to home or at great distance. For this reason, it is essential for parents to discuss the needs of their child with adults at the school before they leave the child there, and to remain in contact with those people during the school year. This communication is particularly critical if the student is having difficulty. Parental support may be the only affirmation of his worth, and in case of disciplinary action for wrong-doing, may assist him in accepting responsibility for his actions. No matter what, it is essential to find out what the transgression has been before reacting ... in terms of family values, the punishment may be out of proportion to the misdeed. As a parent, commitment must be to affirm the value of the child herself, though her action may not be one of which you approve. Some families have come to terms with each person's individual communication style by pre-addressing envelopes for letters or buying audio tapes. Some have pre-scheduled long-distance phone calls, clustering them more frequently at the beginning of term when it was anticipated the student would need more frequent contact, but also acknowledged that there is a need for flexibility. Another family arranged with the housemaster that his apartment phone be used for tie sake of privacy when bad connections were almost inevitable to a third world country.
Because parcels from overseas to the student may be difficult to arrange, some thought may be given to alternative methods of arranging for regular deliveries of gifts while separated. Is there someone else in the family who can send cookies using that special recipe? Will a store deliver a favourite treat? These thoughts are worth considering, as are freq went short notes and clippings to arrive by mail.
One young man said that it took a family separation for him to really get to know his parents; his father wrote a few sentences each evening and mailed them once a week, and his mother described family happenings and her attitude to them. He carried each letter with him until the next one arrived, and saved them all. He responded by mail (infrequently) and by telephone, but kept a regular journal that he presented as a Christmas gift.
C. Adaptation
Adaptation of children at residential schools is not quantified. Interviews with experienced teachers and houseparents at some Canadian boarding schools have revealed, not surprisingly, that the process is highly individualized. It seems that children who are convinced that their parents are interested and concerned about their welfare as well as confident of their skills in being able to adjust to a new situation will probably do well. Schools have devised a schedule to help new students during their first few weeks. Some schools bring new students in as a group either ahead of the experienced boarders s or a few days behind them to help them to establish themselves as a separate group. Olds°.r students or prefects are often assigned to smooth the way. An orientation program is planned in which the traditions of the school are taught almost immediately so the newcomers are quickly initiated into the group.
Often, particularly in schools that are primarily boarding institutions there are no free weekends for a month and a half or more so that students can become used to their new environment and start to establish their allegiance to it before returning to their old one. Many students may be astounded to discover that they are so comfortable by this time that the 'real world' feels strange. In any case, faculty and staff will be alert to any signs of unhappiness and do their best to support students through this process. They ' ill also be aware that the final step in the process won't be completed until after students return to school after Christmas holidays and having had to separate again from their families , return to an environment that is familiar and populated by friends rather than strangers.
One very experienced school administrator said that adaptation to a boarding school may take as long as one school year. He stated that the school must ascertain whether the problem is simple homesickness or is it that the school's program is objectionable to the student, and if that is the case, if it is possible for the school's program to be adapted to his needs.
The school administration must then decide whether positive changes have taken place, and whether the rate of change is acceptable to the school. If however, the student is forcing expulsion by consistently and repeatedly breaking rules, the school will have to expell the student.
The student is not the only one who has adjustments to make when she goes away to school. The family has to adjust to the fact that their configuration and relationships will change. This is the first step to separation of that child from the family; it may never be exactly the same again. The next child in age may feel that she has to take the p: ace of her absent sibling, and the youngest who idolizes her older brother may suddenly feel rudderless and without a role model. This process of adaptation must be acknowledged and supported by all the other family members as a form of mourning. The value of this period for all the members of the family may be that each person's role is appreciated and discussed for the first time resulting in newly expressed affection and communication while separated and then re-connected physically.
D. Re-Constitution
When the family comes back together after one of its member has lived apart, all its members have to adjust to changes that will have taken place. This is true whether a parent has been on an extended assignment elsewhere or if a child has lived away at school. Everyone will have reassigned responsibilities to take up the slack, but if the family is to function as a unit again, there must be flexibility in allowing the sojourner to re-enter the unit as an integral part. If plans have been made for holidays while the student is back home, and if communication has been maintained, her needs should have been actively considered. It is important that she feel that she has been missed, but can pick up her new role smoothly.
Families who successfully adapt to a separated existence come to terms with the fact that one member is living elsewhere, live their lives without him when he isn't there. and plan concentrated time together when he returns. The key element seems to be a sense of mutual support and commitment allied with confidence that as a family they will all benefit from this experience. Shared goals, if well understood and discussed don't dissolve with the miles.
Associations of Independent Schools
Education is a provincial responsibility. For this reason, accreditation is organized separately and differently by each province. However, most provinces have organizations of independent schools that have banded together to make submissions to government or to produce directories of their members. These directories may be of value to parents who are searching for schools in particular geographic regions so students may either take advantage of the same curriculum offered in the public schools of the province in which they now live, or so they may be close to extended family members while their parents are overseas. It is not mandatory for any independent school to belong to an association, though most schools will probably be listed in the yellow pages of city telephone directories. Independent schools often are organized to meet the needs of a particular population at a particular time, and when that population outgrows its need, the school may disappear. Residential schools don't seem to have the same difficulty. Most boarding schools in Canada have been in existence for some time, and though their teaching methods have changed over time, and their attitudes toward students and their parents have adapted to today's society, their future seems assured.
Associations and organizations of independent schools are listed by province. Directories list member schools and provide a wide range of information that include ;specifying whether they are for day students and/or boarders and whether they are co-educational or for one sex.
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